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Excerpts from the book: |
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There is someone up above you, someone who has already reached the top. He is holding one end of the rope. He shouts down: "Hang on to it, hold tight!" He is the guru. All you have to do is take a good grip and, whatever happens do not let go -sraddha, faith... But the guru must have sturdy arms and a strong back, or else the disciple's weight will drag him down, and both will come a cropper,' he added with a smile. Vanya interrupted him, saying: 'But, Swamiji, you are always telling me that the guru only appears at the moment when the atman has finally been discerned.' 'Yes, of course; that is the jnana-guru, the atma-guru, who then reveals everything. He says, Look, see! - and then all is seen, and there no longer remains either disciple or guru... only the one who deep down utters the tat tvam asi, Thou art That. The other guru of whom we are speaking is the karana-guru, the instrumental guru, in whom the real guru begins to take shape as the disciple becomes awake.' Another time he said 'God has four kinds of client. The first are those who from time to time wake up from their sleep, think about him for a moment, murmur "Lord, Lord", and in no time forget about him and fall asleep again. 'The second are genuinely pious. They visit temples, offer pujas, take part in pilgrimage after pilgrimage, sing hymns, practice japa, minister to sadhus - but it is all done with a view to obtaining material blessing, like health, wealth, or social position. 'The third kind are the true bhaktas. They do all that the second kind do, but they do it purely in the hope of obtaining spiritual blessings Nothing else in this world is of interest to them. They only want God, and God alone.' 'Finally there are those who no longer pray or ask God for anything - not even for God himself. They have no concern even for God himself. These are the jnanis.' 'But if that is so, Swami,' asked Vanya, 'then what difference is there between the jnani and the nasthika, an atheist or materialist? He also has no desire or need for God.' 'There is none the less a difference, and an important one,' he replied. 'The difference is that the Jnani has no desire, either for God or for anything else at all while the nasthika wants everything except God!' 'There are the people, who want everything except God, others who want everything and also God, others who want only God, and yet others who, having recognized themselves in God, are no longer capable of any desire, even for god.' 'Those who no longer have any desire, The desires referred to here are by no means abstract or imaginary, but the very concrete and particular desires which at every moment beset the human heart: the desire for a caress or for a good meal, the desire to meet a friend or read a book, the desire to enjoy a marvelous 'heaven'… Another of Vanya's questions was whether the jnani still has an awareness of his sharira. The Indian word sharira refers to everything in us which is not the atman (at least as a preliminary definition, and to avoid falling into the western distinction between the material body and a spiritual mind). Sharira includes both body and mind together, the mental faculties as well as the bodily senses. As for the Tamil word, here translated as 'awareness', its precise meaning is 'memory', 'recollection'. 'Yes, he does have that awareness,' replied Gnanananda, 'but in the atman, whereas other people have the recollection of themselves in their mind, their manas. In addition, the jnani's recollection in the atman is of all beings. In fact his sharira is no longer peculiarly his own. Nothing belongs to him - but at the same time there is nothing that is not his.' 'The same prana, breath of life, permeates all beings, In the same way the atman is everywhere, and everywhere it is uniquely itself. The jnani breathes this "breath", inhaling and exhaling it in each created being. Nowhere is there any difference. Everything is felt by him as "his own". Vanya then raised the difficult question: 'Why does the jnani always act well?' No sooner had he asked the question than his mind clearly told him the answer. The reason is that in the jnani all ahamkara, all centering-on-oneself-in-isolation, all egotism, has disappeared. And egotism is truly the root of all sin. However, the guru replied with the traditional paradox: 'For the jnani there is no longer virtue or sin, good deeds or evil deeds. Sin, virtue, good, evil, are all matters which concern the sharira, the ahamkara, the consciousness of oneself-in-isolation. Differences and contradictions only appear to those who see duality. Whereas the jnani is aware of things only in the non-duality of the atman. So in an awareness like his, on what could the perception of good or of evil be based?' 7) "Drop the bundle, I shall take you over" Vanya only had two days left of his stay at Tapovanam. In one of his last conversations with Sri Gnanananda he told him that he sometimes experienced that condition of which the Swami had several times spoken, which he called in Tamil a 'sleep without sleeping', and in English could be called 'waking sleep'. As regards the body it is a similar state to that of ordinary sleep; the same rhythm as in sleep has taken possession of the physical organism, but the consciousness remains amazingly lucid, a simple 'awareness', a simple state of 'being awake', but without any focal point to which this awareness is attached. If any thoughts or mental pictures do occur at this time, they appear and disappear as objects which have absolutely no connection with this deep and essential awareness, in fact rather like dreams. 'That is excellent,' replied the guru. 'But at that moment you still retain the idea, of yourself. Now, that is what at all costs must go. Always penetrate and deeper within, until nothing more is left except pure awareness without any "memory" of yourself. Then the light will shine, the atman will appear. The idea of yourself will be no more than a shadow. What is a shadow? Does it have a real existence? It is the same with all created things, the same with the world. In the light of the atman, all that only appears as consisting of shadow'. 'The atman is within you the ground of all that your body does and perceives, of all that your mind thinks and understands. And you, who are the atman, you are that which nothing can affect. 'It is in the atman and not in the mind that you should be conscious of everything. In the atman we should do our eating, drinking, walking. hearing, reading, writing; all should be done in the light of the atman. In all things the only reality is the atman. All that exists derives its reality from the reality of this atman. All that is seen is seen in its light. All that is heard is heard in the pranava, the OM, which is the name of the atman. 'Not to know the atman is the most serious of all illnesses. Ignorance of what is Real is a fever that is more dangerous for the spirit than malaria is for the body. But there is a remedy for this fever, one that is within the reach of everyone. It is available for everyone, I mean, jnana, true knowledge, the knowledge of the self, the darshana, vision, of being. This medicine is provided by dhyana, silent contemplation within.' Vanya then said: 'if the cure is so simple, how is it that so few people make use of it?' 'Just see what children do,' replied Gnanananda. 'When they are ill, their mothers prepare a suitable concoction and give it them to drink. But the children don't like the taste. They wave their arms, kick their legs in the air, turn their face away and refuse to open their mouth. If the mother manages somehow to get the into their mouth, they just spit it all out. It is the same with ignorant people who reject wisdom.' 'Wisdom, true knowledge, will never find entrance into anyone against his will. You have to want it, and to want it with your whole heart.' 'Supposing one day you hear that on the other side of the river there is a swami whom everyone praises to the skies. So you want at all costs to have his darshana. You set off - but the river is in the way. There is no way to ford it, and swimming is too dangerous. Then beside the bank you see a ferryman with his boat. You ask him to take you across to the other side. ' "O.K.," he says. "But first, you must drop that bundle. I only take men, not their luggage." ' "Oh no, my bundle! I can't possibly leave it behind. How could I manage without my things? In it there is my food for the journey, my bedding for the night. I have brought flowers and fruit to offer to the Swami. I have got my holy books which I read every day. After all, my bundle is not so heavy. Look here, ferryman, be reasonable! Take me across just as I am, with what I am carrying. I will pay the full fare." "Whichever you prefer," replies the ferryman. "The choice is yours. Without your bundle, I take You over; with your bundle you stay here. Which do you want? - the darshana of the Swami, or your old rubbish?" 'So then, when we have dropped our load, we pass over and have the darshana of the atman.' 'Tell me, who can run with a load on his head? Finally Gnanananda repeated his favourite sloka: **************
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